Just another Rainbow Christian's Blog

Posts tagged ‘Hippie’

Your Favorite Hippie’s Birthday

Just in case you are wondering, or want to start saving for a special present for me now…


Your Birthdate: August 29


You have the mind of an artist, even if you haven’t developed the talent yet.
Expressive and aware, you enjoy finding new ways to share your feelings.
You often feel like you don’t fit in – especially in traditional environments.
You have big dreams. The problem is putting those dreams into action.

Your strength: Your vivid imagination

Your weakness: Fear of failure

Your power color: Coral

Your power symbol: Oval

Your power month: November

Live simply. Love generously.
Care deeply. Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.

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FAIR USE NOTICE:

This blog may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for educational purposes, to advance understanding of human rights, democracy, scientific, moral, ethical, and social justice issues, etc.

This constitutes a ‘fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law.

This material is distributed without profit

“I trace the rainbow through the rain and see the promise is not in vain.”


Every 3.6 seconds a real person dies from hunger somewhere in the world!!!
Feed a hungry person today:
http://www.hungersite.com

My YouTube Channel
http://www.youtube.com/Ninure

God is still speaking
http://www.stillspeaking.com

John Mark Ministries
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/

The River – a poem

I still can’t get over Garth Brooks retiring so early in life. He is one of those singwriters who lyrics stand alone as poetry...

The River

You know a dream is like a river,
ever changing as it flows
And the dreamer’s just a vessel that must follow where it goes
Trying to learn from what’s behind you
Never knowing what’s in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores

Too many times we stand beside
Let the water slip away
Till what we put off till tomorrow
has now become today
So don’t you sit upon the shoreline
and say you’re satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
Dare to dance the tide

~ Garth Brooks ~

(excerpt from The River — enlightenment is where you find it….)

Every 3.6 seconds a real person dies from hunger somewhere in the world!!!
Feed a hungry person today:
http://www.hungersite.com

My YouTube Channel
http://www.youtube.com/Ninure

God is still speaking
http://www.stillspeaking.com

John Mark Ministries
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/

Socialist Words of Jesus

(Let your favorite Hippie confess, the post below actually appeared to the blog I had on MySpace in 2007. Aint it frightening how NOTHING has changed in SIX years?)

Okay now, the Conservatives in the good pl’ USA are still claiming to be Christians, while staunchly opposing anything and everything that might help peopl. Whether it be helping people get thru a period of employment, feeding childtren, allowing everyone to have access to affordable healthcare, or even the Presient yelling kids to work hard and stay in school, Conservatives yell, “No, No, No!!”

I m begining to think that there must be whole pages and sections of the Bible that these people never heard, never read, or have cut out. Or maybe their Bibles never did contain them in the first place?

Maybe you could so them a favor, and send the foolwing – with no comment – to them and ask them if they still want to claim that the “love Jesus”?

Matthew 5:1-48

 1-2 When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him. Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down and taught his climbing companions. This is what he said:

 3“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

 4“You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

 5“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.

 6“You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.

 7“You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for.

 8“You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

 9“You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.

 10“You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.

 11-12“Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don’t like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.  13“Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.

 14-16“Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.  17-18“Don’t suppose for a minute that I have come to demolish the Scriptures— either God’s Law or the Prophets. I’m not here to demolish but to complete. I am going to put it all together, pull it all together in a vast panorama. God’s Law is more real and lasting than the stars in the sky and the ground at your feet. Long after stars burn out and earth wears out, God’s Law will be alive and working.

 19-20“Trivialize even the smallest item in God’s Law and you will only have trivialized yourself. But take it seriously, show the way for others, and you will find honor in the kingdom. Unless you do far better than the Pharisees in the matters of right living, you won’t know the first thing about entering the kingdom.  21-22“You’re familiar with the command to the ancients, ‘Do not murder.’ I’m telling you that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder. Carelessly call a brother ‘idiot!’ and you just might find yourself hauled into court. Thoughtlessly yell ‘stupid!’ at a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire. The simple moral fact is that words kill.

 23-24“This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.

 25-26“Or say you’re out on the street and an old enemy accosts you. Don’t lose a minute. Make the first move; make things right with him. After all, if you leave the first move to him, knowing his track record, you’re likely to end up in court, maybe even jail. If that happens, you won’t get out without a stiff fine.  27-28“You know the next commandment pretty well, too: ‘Don’t go to bed with another’s spouse.’ But don’t think you’ve preserved your virtue simply by staying out of bed. Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than your body. Those leering looks you think nobody notices—they also corrupt.

 29-30“Let’s not pretend this is easier than it really is. If you want to live a morally pure life, here’s what you have to do: You have to blind your right eye the moment you catch it in a lustful leer. You have to choose to live one-eyed or else be dumped on a moral trash pile. And you have to chop off your right hand the moment you notice it raised threateningly. Better a bloody stump than your entire being discarded for good in the dump. (Matthew 5:1-48, The Message)

Matthew 25:31-46

 31-33“When he finally arrives, blazing in beauty and all his angels with him, the Son of Man will take his place on his glorious throne. Then all the nations will be arranged before him and he will sort the people out, much as a shepherd sorts out sheep and goats, putting sheep to his right and goats to his left.

 34-36“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what’s coming to you in this kingdom. It’s been ready for you since the world’s foundation. And here’s why:

   I was hungry and you fed me,
   I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,
   I was homeless and you gave me a room,
   I was shivering and you gave me clothes,
   I was sick and you stopped to visit,
   I was in prison and you came to me.’

 37-40“Then those ‘sheep’ are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?’ Then the King will say, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.’

 41-43“Then he will turn to the ‘goats,’ the ones on his left, and say, ‘Get out, worthless goats! You’re good for nothing but the fires of hell. And why? Because—

   I was hungry and you gave me no meal,
   I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,
   I was homeless and you gave me no bed,
   I was shivering and you gave me no clothes,
   Sick and in prison, and you never visited.’

 44“Then those ‘goats’ are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn’t help?’

 45“He will answer them, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me—you failed to do it to me.’

 46“Then those ‘goats’ will be herded to their eternal doom, but the ‘sheep’ to their eternal reward.” (Matthew 25:31-46, The Message)

 
Let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair.–Gilbert K. Chesterton
 
Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.” (Matthew 22:38-40)

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FAIR USE NOTICE:

This blog may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for educational purposes, to advance understanding of human rights, democracy, scientific, moral, ethical, and social justice issues, etc.

This constitutes a ‘fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law.

This material is distributed without profit


Every 3.6 seconds a real person dies from hunger somewhere in the world!!!
Feed a hungry person today:
http://www.hungersite.com

My YouTube Channel
http://www.youtube.com/Ninure

God is still speaking
http://www.stillspeaking.com

John Mark Ministries
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/

“They” weren’t born that way

I cannot believe that people are still saying that GBLT do not deserve the same rights and protections under law as “straight people” because “homosexuality” is a choice. Protections from arbitrary discrimination is ok because the does not protect the rights of some people because their religion says so,

Oh really?

What would it be like if I could make the case that being a Right-Wing Christian is dangerous to the nation and the nation children…

“They” aren’t born that way

Christians aren’t born that way. It isn’t like being black or white
or asian or male or female.

No, someone has to recruit them to this. Sometime it is their parents
or relatives. In some cases it is total strangers! Sometimes someone
later in live will convert a person into Christianity! And they brag
about this!

They flaunt themselves in public too. You will see them wearing
T-shirts with “What Would Jesus Do?” or wearing crosses. You see them
on the bus and subways reading The Bible! Can’t they keep it to
themselves? Why do they always have to be in your face with their
Christianity?

Some of the more fanatical females dress-up like they are huge
penguins and can be seen out of public streets without any shame. And
there are some of these men running around in these fancy gowns with
these silly hats on their heads. Talking about looking queer!

Then there is always the big deal a lot of these fanatics make about
their abnormal sexuality–celibacy. Since when is that natural? They
make a big deal about it and their not having children. Aren’t adults
suppose to have children? How abnormal that these Christians don’t!

Christians doesn’t happen in nature either. Who every heard of
animals being Christians? You ever see a seagull or a horse or a dog
praying? Of course not!

You can tell they are unnatural because they have only been around for
2,000 years or so. Clearly some freak event happened around back to
create this unnatural people with their unnatural behaviors. It’s
like Hitler and the Nazis!

People try to make excuses for them, saying that they should be able
to live their own lives without being troubled by others. But this is
wrong! There is nothing natural about Christians!

There really needs to be laws against them, to stop them from trying
to recuit children and other innocent people into their unnatural
ways. They should be, they are criminals!!

-The Lady

What we See -a parable

I don’t know why, but lately I see t be “running” into folks who are just about to have some kind of surgery on their  eyes. If nothing else, this is providing me chances to offer words of comfort to those who are scared of “what may happen”, because of what I went thru  when I had cataract surgery.

But thimking of that, reminded me of this little parable:

What we see

There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He’s always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see everything, including her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend asked her, “now that you can see the world, will you marry me?” The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is blind too, and refused to marry him.

Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying.”Just take care of my eyes dear.”

This is how the human brain changes when our status changes. Only a few remember what life was like before and who’s always been there even in the most painful situations. – Ninure da Hippie


Every 3.6 seconds a real person dies from hunger somewhere in the world!!!
Feed a hungry person today:
http://www.hungersite.com

My YouTube Channel
http://www.youtube.com/Ninure

God is still speaking
http://www.stillspeaking.com

John Mark Ministries
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/

Was Jesus a Conservative?

(Again, I was looking for something in my files, and I came across one of those articles I kinda wish I had written. I am not terribly thrilled by some of the name-calling the original author get into, but I certainly can understand the anger….

I am also afraid that the author no longer seems to have an active blog. I think there really needs to be more thinking Christians blogging…
Ninure da Hippie)

Conservatives (Republicans and their predecessors) have fought among other things:

* child labor laws
* the forty-hour work week
* unions
* protection of the air and water
* overtime pay
* Medicare
* Social Security
* consumer protections
* national heath care
* racial equality
* equality for women
* inter-racial marriage

Conservatism is about preserving or returning to the conditions of an earlier time, it is, by definition, anti change. Ultimately, unless it goes to it’s extreme expression, fascism, it’s doomed to failure because, simply, change happens. Or the house of cards built on the
exploitation of the poor and working class tumbles. Conservativism is anti-American, running contrary to the Founding Fathers battles against the conservatives (Torys) of their day. If conservativism had prevailed in the late 1700s, there would be no United States of
America today.

In contrast this to conservatism, we read of Jesus:

And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick. (Matt. 14:14).

Jesus stood against the conservatives of His day, the Republicans of His time, the Pharisees, the Sadducees, the Herodians, and they released their “Republican attack dogs” on Him and led Him to His death.

The word “Christian,” means “like Christ.” Which is something we should endeavor to become. Religious conservatives are the anti-thesis, the opposite, the “anti-Christ” and stand against His compassion and love for the poor, widows and orphans expressed so many times in the Scriptures.

The apostles, in their letter to Paul, expressed concern that the poor were taken care of, contrarily, Ronald Reagan used to express concerns not to provide a perception of a safety net.

The so-called “Religious Right” and other conservative anti-Christian movements are no more Christian than their father the devil. One cannot Scripturally claim to be conservative and Christian for “Conservative CHristian” is an oxymoron, they are self contradictory.
Indeed, the “Conservative Christian” movement is a part of the “great falling away.” (2 Thes. 2:3)

Terrell D Lewis

http://epigramz.blogspot.com/

Fighting the Riech Wing Conspiracy

Dubya and the Kittens – it’s to laugh

Here is something I found amusing back in 2008, it only slightly dated….please my friends, I mean no offense, so please take none.

Y’all know I am an unabashed, unashamed liberal!!!

Dubya and the Kittens

George W. Bush and 4 secret service agents are taking a stroll when they
come upon a little girl carrying a basket with a blanket over it.

Curious, Bush asks the girl, “What’s in the basket?”

She replies, “New baby kittens,” and she opens the basket to show him.

“How nice,” says Bush. “What kind are they?”

The little girl says, “Republicans. “

Bush smiles, pats the little girl on the head and continues on.

Three weeks later, Bush is taking another stroll, this time with Karl Rove.

They see the little girl again with the same basket.

Bush says, “Watch this, Karl; it’s really cute.”

They approach the little girl. He greets the little girl and says “How are
the kittens doing?” and “she says, “Fine.”

Then, smirking, he nudges Rove with his elbow and asks the little girl, “And
can you tell us what kind of kittens they are?”

She replies, “Democrats.”

Abashed, Bush says, “But three weeks ago you said they were Republicans! “

“I know,” she says. “But now their eyes are open.”


FAIR USE NOTICE:

This blog may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for educational purposes, to advance understanding of human rights, democracy, scientific, moral, ethical, and social justice issues, etc.

This constitutes a ‘fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law.

This material is distributed without profit.

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Every 3.6 seconds a real person dies from hunger somewhere in the world!!!
Feed a hungry person today:
http://www.hungersite.com

God is still speaking
http://www.stillspeaking.com

Rant: Christian American Quiz

Christian American Quiz

Please answer the following Questions:

1) Which is the only country in the world to have dropped bombs on over twenty different countries since 1945?

2) Which is the only country to have used nuclear weapons?

3) Which country was responsible for a car bomb which killed 80 civilians in Beirut in 1985, in a botched assassination attempt, thereby making it the most lethal terrorist bombing in modern Middle East history?

4) Which country’s illegal bombing of Libya in 1986 was described by the UN Legal Committee as a “classic case” of terrorism?

5) Which country rejected the order of the International Court of Justice (ICJ) to terminate its “unlawful use of force” against Nicaragua in 1986, and then vetoed a UN Security Council resolution calling on all states to observe international law?

6) Which country was accused by a UN-sponsored truth commission of providing”direct and indirect support” for “acts of genocide” against the Mayan Indians in Guatemala during the 1980s?

7) Which country unilaterally withdrew from the Anti-Ballistic Missile (ABM) Treaty in December 2001?

8) Which country renounced the efforts to negotiate a verification process for the Biological Weapons Convention and brought an international conference on the matter to a halt in July 2001?

9) Which country prevented the United Nations from curbing the gun trade at a small arms conference in July 2001?

10) Aside from Somalia, which is the only other country in the world to have refused to ratify the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child?

11) Which is the only Western country which allows the death penalty to be applied to children?

12) Which is the only G7 country to have refused to sign the 1997 Mine Ban Treaty, forbidding the use of landmines?

13) Which is the only G7 country to have voted against the creation of the International Criminal Court (ICC) in 1998?

14) Which was the only other country to join with Israel in opposing a 1987 General Assembly resolution condemning international terrorism?

15) Which country refuses to fully pay its debts to the United Nations yet reserves its right to veto United Nations resolutions?

Answer to all 15 questions: The United States of America.

Do you call these actions “Christian”!!!!!

Every 3.6 seconds a real person dies from hunger somewhere in the world!!!
Feed a hungry person today:
http://www.hungersite.com

My YouTube Channel
http://www.youtube.com/Ninure

God is still speaking
http://www.stillspeaking.com

John Mark Ministries
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/

Hippie Easter!!

Bunny Easter

Hippie Easter!

Let me admit that q friend eeyorn posted this on his Blog back in 2008 before MySpace erased our Blogs in 2008. The references to Bush still does not date this piece.

There are many who think that should the Jesus of the Gospels appear in the USA today, he’d get a nasty welcome, but this has got to be the best writing I have yet seen on the topic. – Ninure da Hippie

The Crucifixion of Christ, American Style
By Jerry Ghinelli

“For God so loved the world…” he returned his only begotten son to the land where he shed his grace on thee.
 
Vindication for the faithful, rejoicing for the true believers, it was the second coming of Christ—and he was coming to America. Not to bring Armageddon, but to save mankind from Armageddon.
 
Jesus will make his first appearance at the intersection of the streets appropriately named “Liberty” and “Church” in New York City, located at what has come to be known as “Ground Zero.”
 
Lower Manhattan was virtually shut down as millions of the faithful and curious flooded the streets to get a glimpse of the second coming of their lord and savior.
 
Even the New York Stock Exchange suspended trading as the crowds swelled from the Battery to midtown Manhattan. The joy and hope that Christ was bringing was palpable—breathtaking, you might say—in the near carnival-like atmosphere that was created in lower Manhattan.
 
Songs like “Jesus Is Just All Right With Me,” “Amazing Grace” and “Jesus Christ Superstar” played from loudspeakers where the Twin Towers had once stood. American flags and crosses were everywhere.
 
Martin Luther King’s “dream” was now a reality, as black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, young and old, “red staters” and “blue staters,” even atheists and agnostics, all joined hands in love and friendship at this celebration of the second coming of the Prince of Peace.
 
The media frenzy was unprecedented.
 
It was “all Jesus all the time”: round-the-clock coverage as priests, rabbis, and even an ayatollah appeared as expert commentators to explain what this all meant and what we should think.
 
Mel Gibson, who produced the film “The Passion of the Christ,” was interviewed on so many television stations the joke was he must have a double. A female CNN reporter facetiously asked if the handsome Gibson’s identical twin was married.
 
The night before, the new Pope, Benedict XVI, gave a rare interview with Mike Wallace from the CBS News show, “60 Minutes.” And for good reason: This was to be “the greatest story ever told.”
 
On vacation at his ranch in Crawford, Texas, President Bush read a brief statement, calling the second coming of Christ a “miracle of faith,” and formally welcoming him to America. Bush ended his remarks by declaring, “Let freedom reign and God bless America.”
 
Christ had chosen to begin speaking at 8:46 a.m., the precise time when, on September 11, 2001, the first plane smashed into the North Tower of the World Trade Center.
 
The clock in the corner of the TV screen read “Countdown to Jesus” as the minutes and seconds ticked away. It looked a little like we were about to launch the Space Shuttle, one reporter noted.
 
At exactly 8:46 a.m., there was a sudden, immediate, “deafening” silence, almost as if the world had ended. Then Jesus Christ appeared alone before a massive bank of microphones, placed just two blocks north of Ground Zero on a little street appropriately named “Trinity Place.”
 
Looking much as he did two thousand years ago, the longhaired, bearded Jesus Christ, shabbily dressed in a robe and sandals, began to speak in a soft voice.
 
“Shalom, salaam and may peace be with you,” he offered.
 
“I, Jesus of Nazareth, use this sacred ground to symbolize where over four years ago, at this exact moment, man’s inhumanity to man was broadcast live for the entire world to bear witness to.
 
“Those who committed these barbaric acts thought of themselves as ’believers,’ but only a believer in Satan could commit such a heinous act,” said Christ.
 
The applause rang out like booming thunder, echoing off the skyscrapers along the narrow streets of lower Manhattan, and down the section of Broadway known as the Canyon of Heroes. Shouts of “hallelujah, hallelujah” sent goose bumps up people’s arms. The faithful were not crying; they were sobbing. Some people fainted.
 
For the viewers at home, in the corner of TV screens a small woman provided sign language for the hearing impaired.
 
Christ continued. “But I come before America today, for she is the greatest danger to world peace since Genesis.
 
“To suggest that God, our father, would ever be on the side of an America—or any country, for that matter—which attacks poor, defenseless, impoverished people out of revenge, fear, ignorance or greed, contradicts everything I stand for today and, more importantly, died for two thousand years ago.”
 
On the streets and watching at home and at work, the American people were in “shock and awe” at this blunt criticism from their lord and savior.
 
A few cheered, but Christ’s condemnation of America’s response to the evils of 9/11 and of their President, Bush—the born-again man of faith, leader of the greatest country on earth—drew immediate and harsh disapproval.
 
Christian conservatives went on the attack, charging that Christ was wrong to criticize Bush while he was fighting the evil forces of Satan in his divinely inspired worldwide crusade on the war on terror. Christ, as one remarked, seemed to speak with a French accent, and sounded a lot like a bleeding-heart liberal.
 
Fearing that Christ’s message might undermine troop morale in Iraq and Afghanistan conservative Republicans launched an urgent campaign to—as they term it—”swift-boat” Christ.
 
“Swift-boat” is a new verb in the American lexicon, meaning “to smear in the name of truth, justice and freedom.”
 
A Conservative evangelical group from the Bible Belt was quickly formed, named “The Twelve Veteran Disciples for Truth.”
 
Using only their first names, Peter, Paul, James, John, Andy, Phil, Bart, Matthew, Simon, Thad, Tom, along with their spokesman, Judas, appeared together on Fox News to, as they stated, “set the record straight.”
 
They all claimed to have ancestors who served with Jesus back in the Middle East, and stated that his message of “love your enemies” was outdated and dangerous in these troubled times, when terrorists and evildoers lurk around every corner and can strike at any moment.
 
“George W. Bush is a strong and sincere proponent of Christianity, a strong advocate of using military force to attack—even pre-emptively attack—our enemies. Notice that I say ’attack,’ not ’love’,” said Judas.
 
Vice President Dick Cheney, appearing with former Georgia Senator Zell Miller before a uniformed military audience in Texas, suggested that Jesus’ “love your enemy” message was a thinly veiled liberal euphemism that meant Christ wants to cut the defense budget and reduce the federal funding for the body armor badly needed by our brave young men and women in harm’s way.
 
“Let he without sin cast the first spitball,” Cheney mocked, to a standing ovation from the troops.
 
The American media, which loves simple soundbites to always entertain and sometimes inform, played Cheney’s clever spitball line over and over ad nauseum.
 
One enterprising young Republican trademarked the term “Let he without sin cast the first spitball,” embroidered it on t-shirts and is selling them on eBay, along with a scowling “have you hugged a terrorist today” teddy bear wearing a little turban.
 
On his daily radio program, Rush Limbaugh—the lord of the airwaves, the voice of the people, his excellency in broadcasting, revered by millions of “ditto heads” —asked whether the wounds Jesus suffered during his crucifixion had possibly been exaggerated.
 
According to Limbaugh: “Thorns can only cause flesh wounds, and nails in your hands and feet are not lethal.”
 
Nails, Limbaugh went on with a chuckle, “should be an occupational hazard for Jesus Christ, the carpenter from Nazareth . “What’s next, Christ building houses for the poor, along with the second most annoying liberal, that other bleeding heart carpenter, Jimmy Carter?” Limbaugh mocked .
 
Immediately after the show, on sale at http://www.rushlimbaugh.com were steel-toed workboots adorned with the American flag, a pair of “thorn-resistant” “holy” garden gloves, and a box of Band Aids with tiny red crosses should the gloves ever fail.
 
On his program, radical preacher and firebrand television evangelist Pat Robertson referred to Christ’s “meek shall inherit the earth” remark as “communist infiltration and extremism.”
 
He suggests, like Limbaugh, that the liberal Christ is soft on the freedom-hating Islamic evildoers who detest our values.
 
Robertson went so far as to say that Christ was dangerous, and posed the question “perhaps someone needs to take him out before he brings on Armageddon?”
 
President Bush, speaking to new Marine recruits at Paris Island, praised the Lord Jesus and thanked him for his sacrifices. The President, who speaks to God regularly, insisted, however, that God also put him on this earth during these dangerous times to do his will.
 
“Christ is my brother,” Bush emphasized, “and brothers often have differences of opinion, that’s all. Christ believes in turning the other cheek; I prefer an eye for and eye. Or, as we say in Texas—dead or alive,” he said to applause from his troops.
 
“Semper fi,” shouted Bush.
 
Bush declared, “Jesus has never been elected to any public office. I come to work every day as your Commander–in-Chief with war on my mind. Christ speaks of peace this and love that… all kinds of dangerous messages in the post 9/11 world, when we have been attacked by the evildoers who can’t stand our freedoms,” Bush said, to a standing ovation.
 
Bush ended his speech by reciting his own version of “The Lord’s Prayer”:
 
Our Father, Who art in heaven,
 
Hallowed be Thy Name.
 
Thy Kingdom come.
 
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread.
 
And never forgive the terrorists,
 
who trespass against us.
 
And lead us not into appeasement,
 
and deliver the U.S. from evil. Amen.
 
The Democrats, eager to dispel rumors that they will forever be irrelevant, have got into the act.” .
 
Fearing that the compassionate Christ might be pro-life, they have set out to—as they term it—”Bork” Jesus.
 
Like “swift-boat,” “Bork,” taken from the name of the rejected Supreme Court nominee Robert Bork, has also become a verb meaning “to publicly destroy the character of those opposed to the Democrats’ single issue of abortion.”
 
Teams of lawyers paid for by the Democrats, many of whom, opponents allege, have never read a Bible, sworn on a Bible or seen a Bible except in a motel room, are now scouring the Bible to determine whether Jesus, two thousand years ago, may have had an inappropriate relationship with Mary Magdalene and engaged in a sexual relationship with a subordinate.
 
Former President Bill Clinton advising the Democrats, as an expert in this area, stated emphatically, “Jesus did not have sexual relations with that woman!”
 
With Clinton’s declaration, Democrats ended the investigation and went back to their fund raising.
 
The editorial page of the Wall Street Journal stepped in and was sharply critical of Christ’s message that “the love of money is the root of all evil and that it would be easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.”
 
Greed, according to the Wall Street Journal is good; greed works; greed is what made America great.
 
They added that “to render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s” suggests that Christ is in favor of raising taxes to fund liberal social programs and increase handouts to welfare mothers.
 
Jewish groups, fearing that Christ—who was, after all, born in Bethlehem, Palestine—would be sympathetic to Palestinian suffering and thus would oppose increased military aid for Israel, labeled him anti-Semitic.
 
When reminded Christ was born Jewish they amended the label to “self-hating Jew.”
 
Catholics, fearing that this time around not only would Christ clear the temples, but the churches too, were quietly distancing themselves from their lord and savior. With sky-rocketing insurance premiums caused by the lawsuits stemming from the church’s sex scandal, Saturday Night Bingo is needed now more than ever and must not be interrupted.
 
President Bush’s press secretary has denied reports suggesting he was the source of the leak that begs the question “when did Christ stop beating his gay wife.” 
 
Sensing blood in the water, the Republican spin machine revved up to full throttle.
 
Ann Coulter, the “angelic”-looking “Republican Party Doll,” appeared on The O’Reilly Factor in a pure white dress with a Victorian collar, her Rapunzel-like blond hair gleaming; under the set lighting. O’Reilly, complimented Coulter saying she reminded him tonight of “Glinda, the good witch of the north in the Wizard of Oz.” However, some critics suggested she sounded more like the “wicked witch of the west” when she said: “…with his sandals, long hair and beard, Christ bore an eerie resemblance to Osama bin Laden.” O’Reilly said nothing but nodded his approval.
 
But the coup de grace for Jesus was when Judas, the spokesman for “The Twelve Veteran Disciples for Truth,” approached the Justice Department with evidence that the Middle Eastern–born, bearded Christ, who speaks Arabic and is in the US illegally, is a card-carrying member of Al Qaeda.
 
Judas charged that Christ was not the son of God, but rather the son of Allah.
 
With silver selling today at about $16.81 an ounce, thirty pieces of silver—about $504—just doesn’t buy what it did two thousand years ago. So Judas opted for his ”fifteen minutes of fame” instead.
 
He is scheduled to appear on “Oprah” tomorrow, “Larry King Live” at night and “Good Morning America” the next day.
 
President Bush has invited him to his ranch in Crawford, Texas, for some spiritual guidance. Judas, it is expected, will assist the President in “clearing brush” at his sprawling Texas compound this Easter weekend .
 
All suggestions regarding book deals and movie rights are referred to Judas’s agent at the William Morris Agency in Beverly Hills.
 
With Christ-approval numbers now in the single digits, and with compelling evidence from the “disciples for truth” that Christ is a member of Al Qaeda, he was arrested under the provisions of the US Patriot Act and whisked off to an undisclosed location.
 
The indigent, penniless Christ was represented in court by a public defender who appealed Christ’s incarceration all the way up to the US Supreme court.
 
Justice Antonin Scalia, who is of Italian ancestry tracing back to ancient Rome, when speaking for the court refused to hear the appeal. In a tersely worded opinion for a unanimous court, he stated: “We wash our hands of this case.”
 
The High Court, however, then overturned the twenty-five-year sentence of former WorldCom (MCI) C.E.O. Bernard “Bernie” Ebbers, declaring that his rights under the 8th Amendment, prohibiting cruel and unusual punishment, were violated.
 
Ebbers was immediately released back into society and received a hero’s welcome in his hometown. Signs of “Give us Bernard” appeared everywhere.
 
Outside the court at Christ’s hearing, one lone supporter of Christ held up a sign that read “crucify the sinless, and set the guilty free.” He was immediately arrested.
 
Accompanied by his legal aid lawyer, Christ was returned to the courtroom from his undisclosed location, along with two other prisoners.
 
Dressed in an orange jumpsuit and shackled at the wrists and ankles, he looked gaunt and sad at his circumstances.
 
His public defender angrily referred to this proceeding as a “high-tech crucifixion.” The public defender was immediately cited for contempt of court.
 
Christ never spoke during the brief hearing, except when the judge asked him if he had any final words before sentencing.
 
“Yes, your honor. Father, forgive them, once again, for they know not what they do.”
 
Amen
 
Jerry Ghinelli writes essays exclusively for Information Clearing House (  http://www.informationclearinghouse.info) and contributes his time and efforts as a private citizen, with the hope of encouraging readers to think more broadly about the important issues that threaten the peace and security of the world community. Positive feedback should be sent to email@jerryghinelli.com or visit http://www.jerryghinelli.com for more information.

People often say with pride, “I’m not interested in politics.” They might as well say, “I’m not interested in my standard of living, my health, my job, my rights, my freedoms, my future, or any future.”
    — Martha Gellhorn, writer/journalist   (1908-1998)

Live simply. Love generously.
Care deeply. Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.

===================

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