How Not to Rob a Bank
The following is an excerpt from Tim Clark’s “How Not to Rob
a Bank.” Here are some easy lessons gleaned from the
experiences of a number of would-be robbers.
PICK THE RIGHT BANK
You don’t want to make the same mistake as the fellow in
Anaheim, CA, who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer
in business and had no money.
STUDY YOUR HISTORY
Don’t try to stick up the First National Bank of Northfield,
Minnesota. Jesse James tried it 111 years ago, and the
townsfolk took just seven minutes to kill two and capture
three of his gang. Nobody tried again until 1984, and the
customers chased the guy down. They’re tight with their
dollar, those Minnesotans.
SPEAK TO THE RIGHT TELLER
One robber in Upland, CA, presented his note to the teller,
and her father, who was in the next line, got all bent out
of shape about it. He wrestled the guy to the ground and sat
on him until authorities arrived.
DON’T SIGN YOUR DEMAND NOTE
Demand notes have been written on the back of a subpoena
issued in the name of a bank robber in Pittsburgh… on an
envelope bearing the name and address of another in
Detroit….and in East Hartford, Connecticut, on the back of
a withdrawal slip giving the robber’s signature and account
GO EASY ON THE DISGUISE
One robber, dressed up as a woman with very heavy make-up,
ran face first into a glass door. He was the first criminal
ever to be positively identified by lip-print.
TAKE RIGHT TURNS ONLY
Avoid the sad fate of the thieves in Florida who took a
wrong turn into the Homestead Air Force Base, drove up to a
military police guardhouse and, thinking it was a
toll-booth, offered the security men money.
BE AWARE OF THE TIME
Or the chagrin of the bank robber in Cheshire,
Massachusetts, who hit the bank at 4:30 PM, then tried to
escape through downtown North Adams, where he was trapped in
rush hour traffic until police arrived.
CONSIDER ANOTHER LINE OF WORK
Bank robbery is not for everyone. One nervous Newport, RI,
robber, while trying to stuff his ill-gotten gains into his
shirt pocket, shot himself in the head and died instantly.
Then there was the case of the hopeful criminal in Swansea,
Massachusetts, who, when the teller told him she had no
money, fainted. He was still unconscious when the police
arrived. His getaway car, parked nearby, had the keys locked
Try a thought experiment: What would conservatives have said if a group of loud, scruffy leftists had brought guns to the public events of Ronald Reagan or George W. Bush?
— E.J. Dionne
People often say with pride, “I’m not interested in politics.” They might as well say, “I’m not interested in my standard of living, my health, my job, my rights, my freedoms, my future, or any future.”
— Martha Gellhorn, writer/journalist (1908-1998)
“If you want to make peace, you don’t talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies.”—Mother Teresa
Liberalism is trust of the people tempered by prudence. Conservatism is distrust of the people tempered by fear.
— William E. Gladston
The mob is man voluntarily descending to the nature of the beast. . . It persecutes a principle; it would whip a right; it would tar and feather justice.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
FAIR USE NOTICE:
This blog may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for educational purposes, to advance understanding of human rights, democracy, scientific, moral, ethical, and social justice issues, etc.
This constitutes a ‘fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law.
This material is distributed without profit
You may have noticed the increased amount of notices for you to notice. Some of our notices have not been noticed. This is very noticeable. It has been noticed that the responses to the notices have been noticeably unnoticed. This notice is to remind you to notice the notices and respond to the notices, because we do not want the notices to go unnoticed.
“I trace the rainbow through the rain and see the promise is not in vain.”
Every 3.6 seconds a real person dies from hunger somewhere in the world!!!
Feed a hungry person today:
My YouTube Channel
God is still speaking
John Mark Ministries