Summer has FINALLY arrived in my home-town, and already I can hear folks complaining about how they can’t take the heat. Folks come in saying “Man, it so hot…” but they nevwe quite finish the sentance.
Ao here’s a few things to say if somebody ask you “How hot is it?” – Ninure da Hippie
IT’S SO HOT THAT...
.The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
.The trees are whistling for the dogs.
.The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
.Hot water now comes out of both taps in the sink.
.You can make sun tea instantly.
.You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
.The temperature drops below 95 F (35 C) and you feel a little chilly.
.You discover that in August it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
.You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
.You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
.You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
.Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”
.You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
.Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
[forwarded by Johanna Boman]
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
– Romans 13:9</i>
I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary — the evil it does is permanent.
– Mahatma Gandhi
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