Automated Praying Machine …
Imagine praying and hearing this:
Thank you for calling My Father’s House. Please select one of the following options:
a) Press 1 for Requests
b) Press 2 for Thanksgiving
c) Press 3 for Complaints
d) Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.
Then, what if God used the familiar excuse… “I’m sorry, all of our angels are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it was received, so please keep holding” In the meantime, if you would like to speak to:
a) Gabriel, Press 1
b) For Michael, Press 2
c) For a directory of other Angels, Press 3
d) If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm
while you are holding, please press 4.
e) To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, Press 5, enter his or her Social Security number, then press the pound key.
f) For reservations at “My Father’s House” please go to your room and pray
g) For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth and where Noah’s Ark is, please wait until you arrive here. Our computers show that you have already prayed once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow. This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday. Please pray again Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need emergency assistance when this office is closed, contact your local pastor.
THANK GOD, HE DOESN’T HAVE VOICE MAIL AND HE LISTENS WHEN WE PRAY!!!!!”