12 REASONS TO BE THANKFUL YOU BURNT THE BIRD
1. Salmonella won’t be a concern.
2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened.
3. Uninvited guests will think twice next year.
4. Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newfound appreciation.
5. Pets won’t bother to pester you for scraps.
6. No one will overeat.
7. The smoke alarm was due for a test.
8. Carving the bird will provide a good cardiovascular workout.
9. You’ll get to the desserts even quicker.
10. After dinner, the guys can take the bird to the yard and play football.
11. The less turkey Uncle You-Know-Who eats, the less likely he will be to walk
around with his pants unbuttoned.
12. You won’t have to face three weeks of turkey sandwiches.
Asked to write a composition entitled “What I’m Thankful for this
Thanksgiving,” little Johnny wrote, “I’m thankful that I’m not a turkey.”
Live simply. Love generously.
Care deeply. Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.
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