Real Resume and Cover Letter Excerpts
(and your friendly Hippie thinks this may be why these applicants never heard back!)
These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were
printed in Fortune Magazine:
I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet
Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.
Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial
Its best for employers that I not work with people.
You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.
Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No
As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing
Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.
Note: Please don’t miscontrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I
have never quit a job.
Marital status: often. Children: various.
Finished eighth in my class of ten.
Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.
Received from bestofhumor.com.
Disclaimer: Pursuant to the UCC (Uniform Comedy Code), all depictions of events and persons on this site are more real than reality itself, and therefore any resemblance to reality is not really real.
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