Just another Rainbow Christian's Blog

Archive for the ‘Christmas’ Category

The Day After Christmas – Humour

I hope that this poem is NOT true for you!! LOL!!

‘Twas The Day After Christmas
David Frank

‘Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house
Children sat slack-jawed, bored on the couch.

Wrappings and toys littered the floor,
An incredible mess that I did abhor.

With Mom in her robe and I in my jeans,
We waded in to get the place clean.

When suddenly the doorbell: it started to clatter,
I sprang to the Security-View to check out the matter.

The new-fallen snow, now blackened with soot,
Was trampled and icy and treacherous to foot.

But suddenly in view, did I gasp and pant:
An unhappy bill collector and eight tiny accountants.

The door flew open and in they came,
Stern-looking men with bills in my name.

On Discover, on Visa, on American Express,
On Mastercard too, I sadly confess,
Right to my limits, then beyond my net worth,
OUer the top I had charged, in a frenzy of mirth.

The black-suited men, so somber, so strict,
I wondered why me that they had first picked.

They stared at me with a look I couldn’t miss,
That said “Buddy, when are you for paying for this?”

I shrugged my shoulders, but then I grew bolder,
Went to the cabinet and pulled out a folder.

“As you can see,” I said with a smile,
“It’s bankruptcy that I’ll have to file!”
And with a swoop of my arm, my middle digit extended
I threw the bills in the fire: the matter had ended.

The scent of burnt ash came to my nose,
As up the chimney my credit-worthiness rose.

Without another word they turned and walked out,
Got into their limos, but one gave a shout:
“You may think that’s the answer to all of your fears,
But it’s nothing you’ll charge for at least seven years!

FAIR USE NOTICE:

This blog may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for educational purposes, to advance understanding of human rights, democracy, scientific, moral, ethical, and social justice issues, etc.

This constitutes a ‘fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law.

This material is distributed without profit


Every 3.6 seconds a real person dies from hunger somewhere in the world!!!
Feed a hungry person today:
http://www.hungersite.com

My YouTube Channel
http://www.youtube.com/Ninure

God is still speaking
http://www.stillspeaking.com

John Mark Ministries
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/

Advertisements

The Rebel Jesus – a Christmas Card to you

This Hippie want to than a good friend for reminding me of this wonderful song.

I hope when all is said and done, it will be said of me that I was on the side of the Rebel Jesus. – Ninure da Hippie


In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider; God has made the one as well as the other.
– Ecclesiastes 7:14

I find it interesting that the meanest life, the poorest existence, is attributed to God’s will, but as human beings become more affluent, as their living standard and style begin to ascend the material scale, God descends the scale of responsibility at commensurate speed.
– Maya Angelou
from her book, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS…LEAGALLY SPEAKING

If Lawyers has written the Night Before Chistmas…

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS…LEAGALLY SPEAKING

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain
improved piece of real property (hereinafter “the House”) a general lack of
stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.

A variety of foot apparel, e.g., stockings, socks, etc., had been affixed by
and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick
a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter “Claus”) would arrive at
sometime thereafter. The minor residents, i.e., the children, of the aforementioned
House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal
hallucinations, i.e., dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but
not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort, and
otherwise appear in said dreams.

Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as
(“I”), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the party of the
second part (hereinafter “Mamma”), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained
period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear,
e.g., kerchief and cap.

Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the
unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e., the lawn, a
certain disruption of unknown nature, cause, and/or circumstance. The party of the
first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the
cause of such disturbance.

At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of
wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter “the Vehicle”) being
pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8)
reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the previously
referenced Claus.

Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction, and guidance to the
approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal
co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and
Blitzen (hereinafter “the Deer”). (Upon information and belief, it is further
asserted that an additional co-conspirator named “Rudolph” may have been involved.)

The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle, and the Deer
intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located
adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily
laden with packages, toys, and other items of unknown origin or nature.
Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the
Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.

Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue
from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the
aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what
appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and
health regulations.

Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stockings of the minor
children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts.
(Said items did not, however, constitute “gifts” to said minor pursuant to the
applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.)

Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose
and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and
Deer waited and/or served as “lookouts.” Claus immediately departed for an
unknown destination.

However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer, and Claus from said
House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: “Merry
Christmas to all and to all a good night!” Or words to that effect.

===================

FAIR USE NOTICE:

This blog may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for educational purposes, to advance understanding of human rights, democracy, scientific, moral, ethical, and social justice issues, etc.

This constitutes a ‘fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law.

This material is distributed without profit


Every 3.6 seconds a real person dies from hunger somewhere in the world!!!
Feed a hungry person today:
http://www.hungersite.com

My YouTube Channel
http://www.youtube.com/Ninure

God is still speaking
http://www.stillspeaking.com

John Mark Ministries
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/

SOME SANTA HO-HO’S AND NO-NO’S

At the rate we are going, and with the rise of the sport of “Sue then for anything!}”, the following could be real, if not now, real soon!! – Ninure da Hippie

SOME SANTA HO-HO’S AND NO-NO’S
By Peter Chianca

To: Mall Santas
From: Management

Welcome aboard in your new role as one of “Santa’s Helpers.” Please review the following guidelines carefully, so that the mall and its patrons can have a happy, healthy and non-litigious holiday season.

1.) As you’ve no doubt heard, “Ho Ho Ho” is no longer considered an acceptable
holiday greeting, having been deemed potentially offensive to women and
gardeners. The substitute “Ha Ha Ha” has also been banned, as it is possibly damaging
to a child’s self-esteem. Also, Santas overheard saying “Merry Christmas” will
be summarily removed from the premises. Instead, we recommend you listen
attentively to the children, nod, and affect a blank stare devoid of any emotion,
particularly fear. They can sense fear.

2.) Please keep in mind that not all children believe in Santa Claus or
celebrate Christmas. However, please make no attempt to determine this based on
physical cues, such as yarmulkes or “Proud Jehovah’s Witness” T-shirts, as this would
be considered profiling. If you have any questions, please consult the mall’s
attorney, who will be standing behind the fake snowman.

3.) Plump Santas are no longer considered “jolly.” Instead, they serve as a
bleak reminder of our nation’s struggle with obesity and are a poor role model to
our increasingly overweight and inactive children. Please make every effort to
appear slim and fit, and to encourage children to leave you celery and soy
products rather than cookies and hot chocolate on Christmas Eve. Also, please note
that smoking is permitted in the break room only.

4.) Please do not promise children that Santa will bring them anything in
particular, as promising a gift that the parents cannot afford or do not approve of
could result in a lengthy and expensive lawsuit. Be pleasant but non-committal.
If the child is persistent, try to distract him with one of the celery sticks
we now give out in lieu of candy canes; if that doesn’t work, send him behind
the snowman to speak to the attorney.

5.) It has been deemed inappropriate, and a serious legal risk, to have
children sitting on a strange bearded man’s lap. This year the children will sit on a
stool, separated from you by a sheet of soundproof Plexiglas. This also serves
the purpose of keeping you from being able to hear their gift requests (see No.
4).

6.) The concept of elves has been determined to be offensive to a host of
protected groups, including little people, pointy-eared people and people with high
squeaky voices. However, so as to give you the support you need, we are looking
at several possible replacements. Right now we’re leaning toward attorneys.

We’re sure that if you follow these simple guidelines you will succeed in
making the children’s visits with Santa as unremarkable and non-offensive as
possible. Welcome aboard the team here at the mall, and have a merry … a happy …
Oh, whatever.

——————-

Peter Chianca is a columnist and managing editor for Gatehouse Media and the
brains behind “The At Large Blog” (chianca-at-large.blogspot.com). To receive At
Large by e-mail, write to info@chianca-at-large.com, with the subject line
“SUBSCRIBE.”

Copyright 2007 Peter Chianca. Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes.

===================


Every 3.6 seconds a real person dies from hunger somewhere in the world!!!
Feed a hungry person today:
http://www.hungersite.com

My YouTube Channel
http://www.youtube.com/Ninure

God is still speaking
http://www.stillspeaking.com

John Mark Ministries
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/

A letter from JC

Just in case “they” dudn’t get this in “their” e-mail, could you pas this on to anyone and everyone who claims that there is a “War on Christmas”?

 
Dear Children,

It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season. Maybe you’ve forgotten that I wasn’t actually born during this time of the year and that it was some of your predecessors who decided to celebrate My birthday on what was actually a time of pagan festival; although, I do appreciate being remembered
any time.

How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don’t care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth just, GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.

Now, having said that let Me go on.

If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn’t allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn. If all My followers did that there wouldn’t be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town.

Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday
tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You
can and may remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching that explains who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks are. If you have forgot that one, look at John 15:1-8 .

If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is My wish list. Choose something from it.
 
* 1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My
birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers
away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonel y thi s time of year.
I know, they tell Me all the time.
 
* 2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don’t have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.
 
* 3. Instead of writing George complaining about the wording on
the cards his staff sent out this year, why don’t you write and tell him that you’ll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up. It will be nice hearing from you again.

 
* 4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can’t afford and they don’t need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of
My birth and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.
 
* 5. Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him
or her.
 
*  6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take
their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless?
Since you don’t know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it could make the difference. Also, you might consider supporting the local Hot-Line: they talk with people like that every day.
 
* 7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town
calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren’t allowed to wish you a “Merry Christmas,” that doesn’t keep you from wishing them one. Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn’t make so much money on that day, they’d close and let their employees spend the day at home with their families.
 
* 8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary, especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have
never heard My name. You may already know someone like that.
 
* 9. Here’s a good one. There are individuals and whole families
in your town who not only will have no “Christmas” tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don’t know them (and I suspect you don’t), buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Marines, the Salvation Army or some other charity that believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.
 
* 10. Finally if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don’t do things in secret that you wouldn’t do in My presence. Let people know by your
actions that you are one of mine.

P.S.
Don’t forget;
I am with God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do what I have told you to do. I’ll take care of all the rest. Check out the list above and get to work; time is short. I’ll help you, but it is now up to you. I’ll do My job, but I won’t do your job. And do have a most blessed Christmas and, remember, all those you love
with I LOVE YOU.  
Jesus

===================

‘God does not share his love between all of his creatures; He gives *all* of his love to *each* of His creatures!’ (Hugh of St. Victor).


Every 3.6 seconds a real person dies from hunger somewhere in the world!!!
Feed a hungry person today:
http://www.hungersite.com

My YouTube Channel
http://www.youtube.com/Ninure

God is still speaking
http://www.stillspeaking.com

John Mark Ministries
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/

Christmas – Best Hopes vs. Worst Expectations

.Today;s offering is for those of “us” who may not be having the “picture perfect” Christmas we will be hraring about today.

I do hope with all my heart that those of you celebrating with friends and family will truly enjoy every nuance of every facet of what this day truly means…and say a prayer of thanks for the real gifts received this day. – Ninure da Hippie

Christmas – Best Hopes vs. Worst Expectations

Today’s thought is:

Every Christmas I hope for the best but expect the worst.
–Adult child group member

As bells ring out and carols echo everywhere, we should not be surprised if our spirits take a nosedive. It isn’t that we don’t understand the meaning of Christmas, or that we reject it, but rather that the idealized version of what Christmas should be has often times been denied us. We may come to resent the fact that all this good cheer seems to be for other people, not us.

Our experiences may have had little to do with family togetherness around a glowing fireplace, loving conversation, and delighted laughter. Such scenes feel like an affront if there has been no family closeness, perhaps no gifts, and little or no overt love. Of course it’s wrenching when our own experience clashes so painfully with advertised reality!

But every day is a chance for new experience. We can choose today to create the good cheer that wasn’t created for us. It’s too late to change yesterday’s disappointment, but, if we choose, we can make this holiday season the one we’ll remember.

I have made a conscious decision to leave past Christmases in the past. Today, I will begin to create a celebration.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen & Carol Larsen Hegarty

>

FAIR USE NOTICE:

This blog may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for educational purposes, to advance understanding of human rights, democracy, scientific, moral, ethical, and social justice issues, etc.

This constitutes a ‘fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law.

This material is distributed without profit


Every 3.6 seconds a real person dies from hunger somewhere in the world!!!
Feed a hungry person today:
http://www.hungersite.com

Holiday Compliant

I quit sending out Christmas cards years ago, to the puzzlement of many of my “friends”…

Many of them have assumed that I stopped because of my resticted incomem but that;s only part of it.

The older I got, and the more people I knew, the harder it became fr me to dinf the right cards to send to the right people..

My feminist “friends” were offended by cards that referred to God as masculine.

Many of liberal friends had problems with the idea of God as Lord, King, Master and the like.

The images were either too Euro-centric, or too Afro-centric…Jesus didn’t have a color doncha know. “He was tramspatent?”. I wanted to ask.

Then there was the fact that it was winter where I was, but some folks were in spring, or was it summer?

And those pesky Christians who felt that cards were harming the eco-system…

And then there was…

I just gave up.

To all my readers, and everune I know I wish:E>

Blessed Something or Another

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, nonaddictive, gender neutral celebration of the seaonal solstice holiday, practised with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for thecalendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (your country of choice) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her- /himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

FAIR USE NOTICE:

This blog may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for educational purposes, to advance understanding of human rights, democracy, scientific, moral, ethical, and social justice issues, etc.

This constitutes a ‘fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law.

This material is distributed without profit

===================


Every 3.6 seconds a real person dies from hunger somewhere in the world!!!
Feed a hungry person today:
http://www.hungersite.com

God is still speaking
http://www.stillspeaking.com

Tag Cloud