Church Security — Special Bulletin…..
Notice: Intelligence has uncovered a new wave of church terrorists sent out to replace those captured yesterday. These new terrorists are believed to be brothers of those taken on Monday, October 22, 2001. Intelligence believes the brothers names are; Bin Gossip,
Bin Critical, Bin Absent and Bin Sour. The fear is, they are already in place in many area churches. Intelligence also fears that there are even more brothers in this wicked family just waiting for orders to invade.
Since our first report we have been notified by a number of Church Board’s that they have identified four additional suspected terrorists working in different churches. Three of them have been apprehended. Bin Sleepin, Bin Loafin and Bin Drinkin have been taken into custody. The Associate Pastor advised us that it is very difficult to find anyone fitting the description of the fourth cell member: Bin Workin, in most churches. However, he is confident that anyone who looks like he’s Bin Workin will be very easy to spot.
Other terrorists that church members are advised to be on the lookout for are Bin Lying, Bin Sleeping, Bin Arguing, Bin Fighting, Bin Complaining, Bin Missing, Bin Procrastinating, Bin Backsliding, and Bin non-Tithing. The ring leader is none other than Bin Lucifer, who has trained these operatives very well. If you see any of these terrorists operating in your church, immediately report them to your pastor and church board members.