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Posts tagged ‘heaven’

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN – it’s to laugh

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN

Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter says, “Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good to see you. We have heard so many good things about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we’ve been giving an entrance quiz for everyone.”

Forrest responds, “It sure is good to be here, St. Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about an entrance exam, sure hope the test ain’t too hard: Life was a big enough test as it was.”

St. Peter goes on, “I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions: — what days of the week begin with the letter “T”? — How many seconds are there in a year? — What is God’s first name?”

Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day and goes to St. Peter to try to answer the exam questions.

St. Peter waves him up and says, “Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.”

Forrest says, “Well, the first one – how many days of the week begin with the letter “T” Shucks – that one’s easy. That’d be today and tomorrow.”

The Saint’s eyes open wide and he exclaims, “Forrest, that’s not what I was thinking, but you do have a point though and I guess I didn’t specify, so I’ll have to give you credit for the answer. How about the next one? How many seconds in a year?”

“Now that one’s harder”, says Forrest, “but I thought and thought about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve.”

Astounded, St. Peter says, “Twelve? Twelve! Forrest how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?”

Forrest says, “Aw come on St. Peter. There’s got to be twelve – January second, February second, March second ”

“Hold it!” interrupts St. Peter. “I see where you’re going with it. I guess I see your point. Though it wasn’t quite what I had in mind, but I’ll give you credit for that one too. Let’s go on with the next and final question – what is God’s first name?”

Forrest replied, “Andy.”

When St. Peter asked how in the world he came up with the name ‘Andy’, Forrest replied, “You know, St. Peter, that song we sing in church: ‘Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me’.”

THE LESSON:
There is always another point of view and just because another person doesn’t see things the same way, or understand the same way that you do, does not mean that it is wrong.

Link

Pay Phones – it’s to laugh

Even with more and more vell phones, and fewer amd fewer “pone booths”, I know that with bugets getting tighters many places still have them available….and Canada has a special place in my heart.

Pay Phone

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. For his first chapter he decided to write about American churches.

So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would work his way across the country from South to North.

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read $10,000 per call”. The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.

The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talkto God. “O.K., thank you,” said the American.

He then traveled to Indianapolis, Washington DC, Philadelphia, Boston, and New York. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same $10,000 per call” sign under it.

The American, upon leaving Vermont saw a sign for Canada and decided to see if Canadians had the same phone. He travelled through many towns, cities, and rural villages, again and again there were the same golden telephones, but this time the sign
under them read “25 cents per call.”

The American was surprised so he asked a priest about the signs. “Father, I’ve traveled all over America and I’ve seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I’m told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in every state the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?”

The priest smiled and answered, “Look around you. Mountains, lakes, and wide open spaces. Clean air, clean water, and pastures green. You’re in Canada now Son……… … it’s a local call”.

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