Just another Rainbow Christian's Blog

Posts tagged ‘pun’

A Good Pun Is Its Own Reword

A Good Pun Is Its Own Reword

Energizer Bunny arrested – charged with battery.

A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.

Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

Disclaimer: Pursuant to the UCC (Uniform Comedy Code), all depictions of events and persons on this site are more real than reality itself, and therefore any resemblance to reality is not really real.

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IMPORTANT NOTICE

You may have noticed the increased amount of notices for you to notice. Some of our notices have not been noticed. This is very noticeable. It has been noticed that the responses to the notices have been noticeably unnoticed. This notice is to remind you to notice the notices and respond to the notices, because we do not want the notices to go unnoticed.

“I trace the rainbow through the rain and see the promise is not in vain.”


Every 3.6 seconds a real person dies from hunger somewhere in the world!!!
Feed a hungry person today:
http://www.hungersite.com

My YouTube Channel
http://www.youtube.com/Ninure

God is still speaking
http://www.stillspeaking.com

John Mark Ministries
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/

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Security Alert

Church Security — Special Bulletin…..

Notice: Intelligence has uncovered a new wave of church terrorists sent out to replace those captured yesterday. These new terrorists are believed to be brothers of those taken on Monday, October 22, 2001. Intelligence believes the brothers names are; Bin Gossip,
Bin Critical, Bin Absent and Bin Sour. The fear is, they are already in place in many area churches. Intelligence also fears that there are even more brothers in this wicked family just waiting for orders to invade.

Since our first report we have been notified by a number of Church Board’s that they have identified four additional suspected terrorists working in different churches. Three of them have been apprehended. Bin Sleepin, Bin Loafin and Bin Drinkin have been taken into custody. The Associate Pastor advised us that it is very difficult to find anyone fitting the description of the fourth cell member: Bin Workin, in most churches. However, he is confident that anyone who looks like he’s Bin Workin will be very easy to spot.

Other terrorists that church members are advised to be on the lookout for are Bin Lying, Bin Sleeping, Bin Arguing, Bin Fighting, Bin Complaining, Bin Missing, Bin Procrastinating, Bin Backsliding, and Bin non-Tithing. The ring leader is none other than Bin Lucifer, who has trained these operatives very well. If you see any of these terrorists operating in your church, immediately report them to your pastor and church board members.

Veggie Valentine

Veggie Valentine

Cabbage always has a heart;
Green beans string along.
You’re such a Tomato,
Will you Peas to me belong?

You’ve been the Apple of my eye,
You know how much I care;
So Lettuce get together,
We’d make a perfect Pear.

Now, something’s sure to Turnip,
To prove you can’t be Beet;
So, if you Carrot all for me
Let’s let our Tulips meet.

Don’t Squash my hopes and dreams now,
Bee my Honey, dear;
Or tears will fill Potato’s eyes,
While Sweet Corn lends an ear.

I’ll Cauliflower shop and say
Your dreams are Parsley mine.
I’ll work and share my Celery,
So be my Valentine.

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