Just another Rainbow Christian's Blog

Posts tagged ‘religion’

Do not be afraid – Fr. Richard Rohr

Do Not Be Afraid – Fr. Richard Rohr

One could sum up the Bible as an interplay of fear and faith. In general, people are obsessed and overpowered by fears; we all fear whatever we cannot control. God is one of our primary fears because God is totally beyond us. The good news, the gospel, according to Luke, is that God has breached that fear and become one of us in Jesus. God says, in effect, “It’s okay. You don’t have to live in chattering fear of me.” God’s response to Mary’s quaver at the angel’s appearance is, “Do not be afraid” (Luke 1:30), and in fact, I am told it is the most common one-liner in the whole Bible, appearing maybe even 365 times!

In Luke’s infancy narrative, Mary is presented as prototypical and archetypal, because God comes into her life and announces the Divine Presence within her. Through the same Spirit, God comes into our lives and announces the Divine Presence within us. This annunciation event is a paradigm of every mystical experience. God offers the Godself to us even before we invite God to do so. There is no indication of previous holiness or heroics in Mary’s life. All we can do is be present and open. When Mary manifests this presence and openness, she becomes the Christ-bearer to the world. It is the same for us.

Adapted from The Good News According to Luke: Spiritual Reflections, p. 66

Every 3.6 seconds a real person dies from hunger somewhere in the world!!!
Feed a hungry person today:
http://www.hungersite.com

My YouTube Channel
http://www.youtube.com/Ninure

God is still speaking
http://www.stillspeaking.com

John Mark Ministries
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/

Say Uncle – a Still speaking Devotional

Say “Uncle”

1 Kings 19:4-6
[Elijah] came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep. All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.”

Dwight Lee Wolter

As the youngest child in my family, all three of my siblings could easily overpower me. I always put up a good fight, but the outcome was never in question. The struggles usually ended with me being pinned against the floor and my siblings demanding, “Say Uncle!” Only then would they let me go.

Today, many years later, I looked out the window of my soul and softly said, “Uncle.” This has been a difficult winter in many parts of the country, with environmental crises such as horrendous hurricanes, blinding blizzards and crippling drought. And there have been many excruciating crises of human origin such as the slaughter of innocent children and adults in Newtown, Connecticut. Enough already! On the count of three let’s all say, “Uncle!”

Many are quick to remind me that things could be much worse; that we should hold fast to an attitude of gratitude; and that God never gives you more than you can handle—but sometimes I wonder. While I am pleased and proud of what many have mobilized and accomplished in the aftermath of these and other tragedies, sometimes I allow myself to hunker down under the broom bush in my soul and surrender to the sweet agony of grief.

Eventually, when I have had enough, some angel comes along and tells me it is time to get up and eat. Nourished by bread and grief, I find strength to return to my quest of being a useful advocate once again.

Prayer
God of many names including Mother, Father and Uncle—wherever we are on our spiritual journey, be with us as we avail ourselves of the heights and depths of your creation.

About the Author
Dwight Lee Wolter is the author of Forgiving Our Parents, Freedom Through Forgiving (a workbook), and Forgiving Our Grownup Children. He is pastor of the Congregational Church of Patchogue on Long Island, New York.

***********

Live simply. Love generously.
Care deeply. Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.

“The Lord sets the prisoners free; the Lord opens the eyes of the blind. The Lord lifts up those who are bowed down; the Lord loves the righteous. The Lord watches over the strangers; [the Lord] upholds the orphan and the widow.”
– Psalm 146:7-9

===================

“I trace the rainbow through the rain and see the promise is not in vain.”

My YouTube Channel
http://www.youtube.com/Ninure

God is still speaking
http://www.stillspeaking.com

John Mark Ministries
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/

Something to meditate on – a verse and a thought

Something to meditate on:

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.
– James 1:27-27

Quote for the day:


I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.
– Elie Wiesel

FAIR USE NOTICE:

This blog may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for educational purposes, to advance understanding of human rights, democracy, scientific, moral, ethical, and social justice issues, etc.

This constitutes a ‘fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law.

This material is distributed without profit

===================


Every 3.6 seconds a real person dies from hunger somewhere in the world!!!
Feed a hungry person today:
http://www.hungersite.com

God is still speaking
http://www.stillspeaking.com

Why God never got His PhD – its too laugh

(If you don’t have a sense of humor, or are easily offended you should skip this “offering”)

Why God never got His PhD

1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn’t published in a refereed journal.
5. Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since
then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human
subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his
subjects.
11. When subjects didn’t behave as predicted, he deleted them from the
sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed
his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
17. No record of working well with colleagues.

A Call to Technical Support – it’s to laugh

Moses Requests Technical Support (Humour)


>
“Excuse me, sir.”

“Is that you again, Moses?”

“I’m afraid it is, sir.”

“What is it this time, Moses. More computer problems?”

“How did you guess?”

“I don’t have to guess, Moses. Remember?”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot.”

“Tell me what you want, Moses.”

“But you already know. Remember?”

“Moses!”

“Sorry, sir.”

“Well, go ahead, Moses. Spit it out!”

“Well, I have a question, Sir. You know those ten things you sent me?”

“You mean the Commandments, Moses?”

“That’s it. I was wondering if they were important.”

“What do you mean ‘were important, Moses? Of course, they are important. Otherwise I wouldn’t have sent them to you.”

“Well, sorry, but I lost them. I could say the dog at e them, but of course you would see right through that.”

“What do you mean ‘you lost them! Are you trying to tell me you didn’t save them, Moses?”

“No, sir. I forgot.”

“You should always save, Moses.”

“Yeah, I know. You told me that before. I was going to, but I forgot. I did send them to some people before I lost them though.”

“And did you hear back from any of them?”

“You already know I did.”

“What about the one guy who said he never uses ‘shalt not’. Can he change the words a little bit?”

“Yes, Moses. As long as he doesn’t change the meaning.”

“And what about the guy who thought your stance was a little harsh and recommended calling them the Ten Suggestions, or letting people pick one or two to try for a while?”

“Moses, I’ll act like I didn’t hear that.”

“I think tha t means, ‘no’. Well, what about the guy who said I was scamming him?”

“I think that is spamming, Moses.”

“Oh, yeah. I e-mailed him back and told him I don’t even eat that stuff, and I have no idea how you can send it to someone through a computer.”

“And what he did say?”

“You know what he said. He used Your name in vain. You don’t think he might have sent me one of those plagues, and that’s the reason I lost those ten things, do you?”

“They’re called viruses, Moses.”

“Whatever! This computer stuff is just too much for me. Can we just go back to those stone tablets? It was hard on my back taking them out and reading them each day, but I never lost them.”

“We’ll do it the new way, Moses.”

“I was afraid you would say that, sir.”

“Moses, what did I tell you to do if you messed up?”

“You told me to hold up this rat and stretch it out toward the computer.”

“It’s a mouse, Moses. Mouse! Mouse! And did you do that?”

“No, I decided to try the technical support first. After all, who knows more about this stuff than you, and I really like your hours. By the way, sir, did Noah have two of these mice on the ark?”

“No, Moses.”

“One other thing. Why didn’t you name them frogs instead of mice, because didn’t you tell me the thing they sit on is a pad?”

“I didn’t name them, Moses. Man did, and you can call yours a frog if you want to.”

“Oh, that explains it. Kind of like Adam, huh, sir? I bet some woman told him to call it a mouse. After all, wasn’t it a woman who named one of the computers Apple?”

“Say good night, Moses.”

“Wait a minute, sir. I am stretching out the mouse, and it seems to be working. Yes, a couple of the ten things have come back.”

“Which ones are they, Moses?”

“Let’s see. ‘Thou shalt not steal from any grave an image and ‘Thou shalt not uncover thy neighbor’s wife.’

“Turn the computer off, Moses. I’m sending you another set of stone tablets. How does ‘Same Day Air’ sound?”
>

===================


Every 3.6 seconds a real person dies from hunger somewhere in the world!!! Feed a hungry person today:
http://www.hungersite.com

God is still speaking
http://www.stillspeaking.com

Nameless Heroes – a Stillspeaking Devotional

Nameless Heroes –

Acts 23: 12-17 (NIV)
The next morning the Jews formed a conspiracy and bound themselves with an oath not to eat or drink until they had killed Paul. More than forty men were involved in this plot. They went to the chief priests and elders and said, ‘We have taken a solemn oath not to eat anything until we have killed Paul. . . .’ But when the son of Paul’s sister heard of this plot, he went into the barracks and told Paul. Then Paul called one of the centurions and said, “Take this young man to the commander; he has something to tell him.” So he took him to the commander.

Reflection by Kenneth L. Samuel

The Apostle Paul played a leading role in the spreading of the gospel and in the establishment of the first-century church. Indeed most of the narrative of the book of Acts is a vivid chronicle of the life, witness and ministry of Paul. But behind every major character, there is always a host of supporting characters.

These are the foot soldiers who work inconspicuously and almost invisibly in the background. They are seldom noted, easily overlooked and almost never remembered. Their names are often forgotten or never mentioned. They are like the nameless young man of Acts 23. Barely noticed. Quite indistinct. Practically obscure. Yet this non-distinct, nameless young man is the agent God used to intercept a plot to murder Paul and to stifle the spread of the gospel among the Gentiles.

To how many nameless heroes and heroines do we owe our success? How many forgotten souls have sacrificed and selflessly intervened on our behalf to save us from pending doom? How many times has God used minor characters to deliver major victories for us? We could so easily forget them and believe that we have made it by our own abilities. But the truth is that without their pivotal contributions, we would not be. A full appreciation of Paul’s life and ministry must also include an appreciation for the life and ministry of the nameless one.

Prayer
Dear Lord, for the countless, nameless persons whom you have used throughout my life to save my life, I give you thanks. Amen.

My YouTube Channel
http://www.youtube.com/Ninure

God is still speaking
http://www.stillspeaking.com

John Mark Ministries
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/

A Trinitarian Prayer – Fr. Richard Rohr

A Trinitarian Prayer

In the name of the Holy Formless One,
In the name of the Son, who took Form,
In the name of the Spirit between these Two,
All things are made one.

God for us, we call You Father
God alongside us, we call You Jesus,
God within us, we call You Holy Spirit.
But these are only names.

You are the Eternal Mystery that enables
and holds and enlivens all things
—even us and even me.
Every name falls short of Your goodness and Your greatness.
We can only see who You are in what is.
In the beginning, now, and always. 

Amen

—A prayer accompanying The Divine Dance (CD, MP3) on God as Trinity

Obama, MLK, Not “Nice” Enough to Moderates? | Politics | Religion Dispatches

Obama, MLK, Not “Nice” Enough to Moderates? | Politics | Religion Dispatches.

The Meaning of Words – a thought for Today

(~) The Meaning of Words

Someone has come up with some new words and phrases for our technological age:

ALPHA GEEK – The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. “Ask Larry, he’s the alpha geek around here.”

BEEPILEPSY – the brief seizure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode.

BLAME STORMING – sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

CHIPS AND SALSA – Chips = hardware, salsa = software. “Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem’s in your chips or your salsa.”

COBWEB SITE – a World Wide Web Site that hasn’t been updated for a long time.

CUBE FARM – an office filled with cubicles.

EGO SURFING – scanning the Net and print media looking for references to one’s own name.

IDEA HAMSTERS – People who always seem to have their idea generators running.

IRRITAINMENT – entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

KEYBOARD PLAQUE – The disgusting buildup of dirt found on computer keyboards.

MOUSE POTATO – the on-line generation’s answer to the couch potato.

OHNOSECOND – that minuscule fraction of time in which you realize you’ve just made a big mistake.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE – the fine art of whacking an electronic device to get it to work again.

PRAIRIE DOGGING – when someone yells or drops something loudly in a “cube farm” and everyone’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.

STRESS PUPPY – a person who thrives on being stressed out and whiny.

SWIPED OUT – an ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

TREEWARE – computer slang for documentation or other printed material.

I don’t think it’s likely that many of the words and phrases above will ever actually be accepted and incorporated into our English language, but perhaps they should be because they all have meaning that we can easily relate to. And that’s the purpose of words — to convey meaning.

That explains why when Jesus came to this earth and took on human flesh, he was described by John as “the Word”. He didn’t just preach about what God was like and about how we ought to live. His very life expressed both with clarity. Jesus didn’t just speak words; he was the Word — a Word that conveyed meaning in a way no other words ever had or ever could. It was a “new” Word brought about not by the onset of a technological age, but by the fact that God came to be with us more closely than He ever had before.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God….And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.” (John 1:1-2,14)

There are some great words in our language, words that convey meaning in a powerful way. But none so powerfully as that one Word. Praise be to God for the Word that became flesh and dwelt among us!

Have a great day!

Alan Smith

Disclaimer: Pursuant to the UCC (Uniform Comedy Code), all depictions of events and persons on this site are more real than reality itself, and therefore any resemblance to reality is not really real.

===================

FAIR USE NOTICE:

This blog may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for educational purposes, to advance understanding of human rights, democracy, scientific, moral, ethical, and social justice issues, etc.

This constitutes a ‘fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law.

This material is distributed without profit

IMPORTANT NOTICE

You may have noticed the increased amount of notices for you to notice. Some of our notices have not been noticed. This is very noticeable. It has been noticed that the responses to the notices have been noticeably unnoticed. This notice is to remind you to notice the notices and respond to the notices, because we do not want the notices to go unnoticed.

“I trace the rainbow through the rain and see the promise is not in vain.”


Every 3.6 seconds a real person dies from hunger somewhere in the world!!!
Feed a hungry person today:
http://www.hungersite.com

My YouTube Channel
http://www.youtube.com/Ninure

God is still speaking
http://www.stillspeaking.com

John Mark Ministries
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/

Let me admit that q friend eeyorn posted this on his Blog back in 2008 before MySpace erased our Blogs in 2008. The references to Bush still does not date this piece.

There are many who think that should the Jesus of the Gospels appear in the USA today, he’d get a nasty welcome, but this has got to be the best writing I have yet seen on the topic. – Ninure da Hippie

The Crucifixion of Christ, American Style
By Jerry Ghinelli

“For God so loved the world…” he returned his only begotten son to the land where he shed his grace on thee.
 
Vindication for the faithful, rejoicing for the true believers, it was the second coming of Christ—and he was coming to America. Not to bring Armageddon, but to save mankind from Armageddon.
 
Jesus will make his first appearance at the intersection of the streets appropriately named “Liberty” and “Church” in New York City, located at what has come to be known as “Ground Zero.”
 
Lower Manhattan was virtually shut down as millions of the faithful and curious flooded the streets to get a glimpse of the second coming of their lord and savior.
 
Even the New York Stock Exchange suspended trading as the crowds swelled from the Battery to midtown Manhattan. The joy and hope that Christ was bringing was palpable—breathtaking, you might say—in the near carnival-like atmosphere that was created in lower Manhattan.
 
Songs like “Jesus Is Just All Right With Me,” “Amazing Grace” and “Jesus Christ Superstar” played from loudspeakers where the Twin Towers had once stood. American flags and crosses were everywhere.
 
Martin Luther King’s “dream” was now a reality, as black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, young and old, “red staters” and “blue staters,” even atheists and agnostics, all joined hands in love and friendship at this celebration of the second coming of the Prince of Peace.
 
The media frenzy was unprecedented.
 
It was “all Jesus all the time”: round-the-clock coverage as priests, rabbis, and even an ayatollah appeared as expert commentators to explain what this all meant and what we should think.
 
Mel Gibson, who produced the film “The Passion of the Christ,” was interviewed on so many television stations the joke was he must have a double. A female CNN reporter facetiously asked if the handsome Gibson’s identical twin was married.
 
The night before, the new Pope, Benedict XVI, gave a rare interview with Mike Wallace from the CBS News show, “60 Minutes.” And for good reason: This was to be “the greatest story ever told.”
 
On vacation at his ranch in Crawford, Texas, President Bush read a brief statement, calling the second coming of Christ a “miracle of faith,” and formally welcoming him to America. Bush ended his remarks by declaring, “Let freedom reign and God bless America.”
 
Christ had chosen to begin speaking at 8:46 a.m., the precise time when, on September 11, 2001, the first plane smashed into the North Tower of the World Trade Center.
 
The clock in the corner of the TV screen read “Countdown to Jesus” as the minutes and seconds ticked away. It looked a little like we were about to launch the Space Shuttle, one reporter noted.
 
At exactly 8:46 a.m., there was a sudden, immediate, “deafening” silence, almost as if the world had ended. Then Jesus Christ appeared alone before a massive bank of microphones, placed just two blocks north of Ground Zero on a little street appropriately named “Trinity Place.”
 
Looking much as he did two thousand years ago, the longhaired, bearded Jesus Christ, shabbily dressed in a robe and sandals, began to speak in a soft voice.
 
“Shalom, salaam and may peace be with you,” he offered.
 
“I, Jesus of Nazareth, use this sacred ground to symbolize where over four years ago, at this exact moment, man’s inhumanity to man was broadcast live for the entire world to bear witness to.
 
“Those who committed these barbaric acts thought of themselves as ’believers,’ but only a believer in Satan could commit such a heinous act,” said Christ.
 
The applause rang out like booming thunder, echoing off the skyscrapers along the narrow streets of lower Manhattan, and down the section of Broadway known as the Canyon of Heroes. Shouts of “hallelujah, hallelujah” sent goose bumps up people’s arms. The faithful were not crying; they were sobbing. Some people fainted.
 
For the viewers at home, in the corner of TV screens a small woman provided sign language for the hearing impaired.
 
Christ continued. “But I come before America today, for she is the greatest danger to world peace since Genesis.
 
“To suggest that God, our father, would ever be on the side of an America—or any country, for that matter—which attacks poor, defenseless, impoverished people out of revenge, fear, ignorance or greed, contradicts everything I stand for today and, more importantly, died for two thousand years ago.”
 
On the streets and watching at home and at work, the American people were in “shock and awe” at this blunt criticism from their lord and savior.
 
A few cheered, but Christ’s condemnation of America’s response to the evils of 9/11 and of their President, Bush—the born-again man of faith, leader of the greatest country on earth—drew immediate and harsh disapproval.
 
Christian conservatives went on the attack, charging that Christ was wrong to criticize Bush while he was fighting the evil forces of Satan in his divinely inspired worldwide crusade on the war on terror. Christ, as one remarked, seemed to speak with a French accent, and sounded a lot like a bleeding-heart liberal.
 
Fearing that Christ’s message might undermine troop morale in Iraq and Afghanistan conservative Republicans launched an urgent campaign to—as they term it—”swift-boat” Christ.
 
“Swift-boat” is a new verb in the American lexicon, meaning “to smear in the name of truth, justice and freedom.”
 
A Conservative evangelical group from the Bible Belt was quickly formed, named “The Twelve Veteran Disciples for Truth.”
 
Using only their first names, Peter, Paul, James, John, Andy, Phil, Bart, Matthew, Simon, Thad, Tom, along with their spokesman, Judas, appeared together on Fox News to, as they stated, “set the record straight.”
 
They all claimed to have ancestors who served with Jesus back in the Middle East, and stated that his message of “love your enemies” was outdated and dangerous in these troubled times, when terrorists and evildoers lurk around every corner and can strike at any moment.
 
“George W. Bush is a strong and sincere proponent of Christianity, a strong advocate of using military force to attack—even pre-emptively attack—our enemies. Notice that I say ’attack,’ not ’love’,” said Judas.
 
Vice President Dick Cheney, appearing with former Georgia Senator Zell Miller before a uniformed military audience in Texas, suggested that Jesus’ “love your enemy” message was a thinly veiled liberal euphemism that meant Christ wants to cut the defense budget and reduce the federal funding for the body armor badly needed by our brave young men and women in harm’s way.
 
“Let he without sin cast the first spitball,” Cheney mocked, to a standing ovation from the troops.
 
The American media, which loves simple soundbites to always entertain and sometimes inform, played Cheney’s clever spitball line over and over ad nauseum.
 
One enterprising young Republican trademarked the term “Let he without sin cast the first spitball,” embroidered it on t-shirts and is selling them on eBay, along with a scowling “have you hugged a terrorist today” teddy bear wearing a little turban.
 
On his daily radio program, Rush Limbaugh—the lord of the airwaves, the voice of the people, his excellency in broadcasting, revered by millions of “ditto heads” —asked whether the wounds Jesus suffered during his crucifixion had possibly been exaggerated.
 
According to Limbaugh: “Thorns can only cause flesh wounds, and nails in your hands and feet are not lethal.”
 
Nails, Limbaugh went on with a chuckle, “should be an occupational hazard for Jesus Christ, the carpenter from Nazareth . “What’s next, Christ building houses for the poor, along with the second most annoying liberal, that other bleeding heart carpenter, Jimmy Carter?” Limbaugh mocked .
 
Immediately after the show, on sale at http://www.rushlimbaugh.com were steel-toed workboots adorned with the American flag, a pair of “thorn-resistant” “holy” garden gloves, and a box of Band Aids with tiny red crosses should the gloves ever fail.
 
On his program, radical preacher and firebrand television evangelist Pat Robertson referred to Christ’s “meek shall inherit the earth” remark as “communist infiltration and extremism.”
 
He suggests, like Limbaugh, that the liberal Christ is soft on the freedom-hating Islamic evildoers who detest our values.
 
Robertson went so far as to say that Christ was dangerous, and posed the question “perhaps someone needs to take him out before he brings on Armageddon?”
 
President Bush, speaking to new Marine recruits at Paris Island, praised the Lord Jesus and thanked him for his sacrifices. The President, who speaks to God regularly, insisted, however, that God also put him on this earth during these dangerous times to do his will.
 
“Christ is my brother,” Bush emphasized, “and brothers often have differences of opinion, that’s all. Christ believes in turning the other cheek; I prefer an eye for and eye. Or, as we say in Texas—dead or alive,” he said to applause from his troops.
 
“Semper fi,” shouted Bush.
 
Bush declared, “Jesus has never been elected to any public office. I come to work every day as your Commander–in-Chief with war on my mind. Christ speaks of peace this and love that… all kinds of dangerous messages in the post 9/11 world, when we have been attacked by the evildoers who can’t stand our freedoms,” Bush said, to a standing ovation.
 
Bush ended his speech by reciting his own version of “The Lord’s Prayer”:
 
Our Father, Who art in heaven,
 
Hallowed be Thy Name.
 
Thy Kingdom come.
 
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread.
 
And never forgive the terrorists,
 
who trespass against us.
 
And lead us not into appeasement,
 
and deliver the U.S. from evil. Amen.
 
The Democrats, eager to dispel rumors that they will forever be irrelevant, have got into the act.” .
 
Fearing that the compassionate Christ might be pro-life, they have set out to—as they term it—”Bork” Jesus.
 
Like “swift-boat,” “Bork,” taken from the name of the rejected Supreme Court nominee Robert Bork, has also become a verb meaning “to publicly destroy the character of those opposed to the Democrats’ single issue of abortion.”
 
Teams of lawyers paid for by the Democrats, many of whom, opponents allege, have never read a Bible, sworn on a Bible or seen a Bible except in a motel room, are now scouring the Bible to determine whether Jesus, two thousand years ago, may have had an inappropriate relationship with Mary Magdalene and engaged in a sexual relationship with a subordinate.
 
Former President Bill Clinton advising the Democrats, as an expert in this area, stated emphatically, “Jesus did not have sexual relations with that woman!”
 
With Clinton’s declaration, Democrats ended the investigation and went back to their fund raising.
 
The editorial page of the Wall Street Journal stepped in and was sharply critical of Christ’s message that “the love of money is the root of all evil and that it would be easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.”
 
Greed, according to the Wall Street Journal is good; greed works; greed is what made America great.
 
They added that “to render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s” suggests that Christ is in favor of raising taxes to fund liberal social programs and increase handouts to welfare mothers.
 
Jewish groups, fearing that Christ—who was, after all, born in Bethlehem, Palestine—would be sympathetic to Palestinian suffering and thus would oppose increased military aid for Israel, labeled him anti-Semitic.
 
When reminded Christ was born Jewish they amended the label to “self-hating Jew.”
 
Catholics, fearing that this time around not only would Christ clear the temples, but the churches too, were quietly distancing themselves from their lord and savior. With sky-rocketing insurance premiums caused by the lawsuits stemming from the church’s sex scandal, Saturday Night Bingo is needed now more than ever and must not be interrupted.
 
President Bush’s press secretary has denied reports suggesting he was the source of the leak that begs the question “when did Christ stop beating his gay wife.” 
 
Sensing blood in the water, the Republican spin machine revved up to full throttle.
 
Ann Coulter, the “angelic”-looking “Republican Party Doll,” appeared on The O’Reilly Factor in a pure white dress with a Victorian collar, her Rapunzel-like blond hair gleaming; under the set lighting. O’Reilly, complimented Coulter saying she reminded him tonight of “Glinda, the good witch of the north in the Wizard of Oz.” However, some critics suggested she sounded more like the “wicked witch of the west” when she said: “…with his sandals, long hair and beard, Christ bore an eerie resemblance to Osama bin Laden.” O’Reilly said nothing but nodded his approval.
 
But the coup de grace for Jesus was when Judas, the spokesman for “The Twelve Veteran Disciples for Truth,” approached the Justice Department with evidence that the Middle Eastern–born, bearded Christ, who speaks Arabic and is in the US illegally, is a card-carrying member of Al Qaeda.
 
Judas charged that Christ was not the son of God, but rather the son of Allah.
 
With silver selling today at about $16.81 an ounce, thirty pieces of silver—about $504—just doesn’t buy what it did two thousand years ago. So Judas opted for his “fifteen minutes of fame” instead.
 
He is scheduled to appear on “Oprah” tomorrow, “Larry King Live” at night and “Good Morning America” the next day.
 
President Bush has invited him to his ranch in Crawford, Texas, for some spiritual guidance. Judas, it is expected, will assist the President in “clearing brush” at his sprawling Texas compound this Easter weekend .
 
All suggestions regarding book deals and movie rights are referred to Judas’s agent at the William Morris Agency in Beverly Hills.
 
With Christ-approval numbers now in the single digits, and with compelling evidence from the “disciples for truth” that Christ is a member of Al Qaeda, he was arrested under the provisions of the US Patriot Act and whisked off to an undisclosed location.
 
The indigent, penniless Christ was represented in court by a public defender who appealed Christ’s incarceration all the way up to the US Supreme court.
 
Justice Antonin Scalia, who is of Italian ancestry tracing back to ancient Rome, when speaking for the court refused to hear the appeal. In a tersely worded opinion for a unanimous court, he stated: “We wash our hands of this case.”
 
The High Court, however, then overturned the twenty-five-year sentence of former WorldCom (MCI) C.E.O. Bernard “Bernie” Ebbers, declaring that his rights under the 8th Amendment, prohibiting cruel and unusual punishment, were violated.
 
Ebbers was immediately released back into society and received a hero’s welcome in his hometown. Signs of “Give us Bernard” appeared everywhere.
 
Outside the court at Christ’s hearing, one lone supporter of Christ held up a sign that read “crucify the sinless, and set the guilty free.” He was immediately arrested.
 
Accompanied by his legal aid lawyer, Christ was returned to the courtroom from his undisclosed location, along with two other prisoners.
 
Dressed in an orange jumpsuit and shackled at the wrists and ankles, he looked gaunt and sad at his circumstances.
 
His public defender angrily referred to this proceeding as a “high-tech crucifixion.” The public defender was immediately cited for contempt of court.
 
Christ never spoke during the brief hearing, except when the judge asked him if he had any final words before sentencing.
 
“Yes, your honor. Father, forgive them, once again, for they know not what they do.”
 
Amen
 
Jerry Ghinelli writes essays exclusively for Information Clearing House (  www.informationclearinghouse.info) and contributes his time and efforts as a private citizen, with the hope of encouraging readers to think more broadly about the important issues that threaten the peace and security of the world community. Positive feedback should be sent to email@jerryghinelli.com or visit http://www.jerryghinelli.com for more information.

People often say with pride, “I’m not interested in politics.” They might as well say, “I’m not interested in my standard of living, my health, my job, my rights, my freedoms, my future, or any future.”
    — Martha Gellhorn, writer/journalist   (1908-1998)

Live simply. Love generously.
Care deeply. Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.

===================

NOTICE: Due to Presidential Executive Orders, the National Security Agency may have read this Blog without warning, warrant, or notice.

They may do this without any judicial or legislative oversight. You have no recourse nor protection save to call for the impeachment of the current President.

FAIR USE NOTICE:

This blog may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for educational purposes, to advance understanding of human rights, democracy, scientific, moral, ethical, and social justice issues, etc.

This constitutes a ‘fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law.

This material is distributed without profit


Every 3.6 seconds a real person dies from hunger somewhere in the world!!!
Feed a hungry person today:
http://www.hungersite.com

My YouTube Channel
http://www.youtube.com/Ninure

God is still speaking
http://www.stillspeaking.com

John Mark Ministries
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/

Tag Cloud